Xmas – the foretelling
’tis the weekend before Xmas and I am a packmule.
I have discovered that my Stupid Little Car ™ is actually a Tardis. I should have known. I had all the signs. It’s blue.
Anyway I discovered that the loading weight of a clio is precisely 85 metric tons.
If you think this means i went *shopping* you’d be right.
Sister *A* ( Names concealed to protect the guilty and hide me from her wrath ) decided to go shopping. In Leeds. Where I and Sister *B* ( You know who you are ) live.
Sister B came up with some hastily derived family emergency … leprosy I think, that prevented the poor dear from wearing her feet down to nubs and her fingers and visa to the bone as we whizzed through all the shops. [ only on day 1. By Day 2 she was part of the rampaging horde ]
We Did It. Without major bloodshed [ not being telekinetic sadly ] We managed to track down and locate 90% of the desired items. Including the Prada which Brother in law … erm …*A* demanded to go with his new Xmas outfits.
Budgetary constraints sadly meant that aforementioned Prada items were limited to the little ribbons that you get for spraying perfume on in Harvey Nicks. But they have a Prada Tag. And its the thought that counts really.
It wasnt that bad actually.
Items purchased included :-
Neice *a* – jr goth accessories [ I mean goth goth not iwannabeanindividualjustlikeeveryoneelse-goth]
Neice *b* – things with labels on the outside & sportswear
Neice *c* – small concealable items of mass destruction & Star Wars [ sith lord wannabe]
Neice *d* – The entire disney princess range [sith lord tendencies concealed under tulle netting]
Nephew *C* – things to dribble on / eat / both.
They’re all related…. Weird huh?
Late on the sunday evening the Car was packed. Some foolish persons thought we wouldnt get everything in my car and would have to form some sort of convoy [ viz me ]
Nah. With the seats folded down and the interdimensional portal opened up we got everything in. [Sisters A & B got everything in.
I watched while performing mental calculations on the compression ratio of my suspension]
Unloading was done in only 37 trips from kerb to upstairs place of concealment.
Brother in law *A* gave his highest accolade you got everything in. Huh [ Bag packers at all major supermarkets run in fear from this man !! ] Ta Da.
*** Yes we bought batteries. Of Course we bought batteries.
*** Of Course we packed them in the WRONG bag and left them in Leeds. It’s an xmas tradition.