Chapter IV – A new hope

Technically it’s an old hope. Namely that I don’t break any limbs. Although this will be the first time I’ve been snowboarding. So it’s an entirely new way to break my arms. I’ve tried explaining this concern to Adam and Co. yet they remain blase about the whole thing. The three of them have had several months of lessons / practise on an indoor slope not far from home. In 12 days we fly to Arabba in Northern Italy. Current weather reports indicate 2-3 feet of snow and that its -21 degrees. Brrrrr. Steve is firmly of the opinion that he’ll get me to at least take a couple of snowboarding lessons while we’re out there. I’m firmly of the opinion that I won’t. I found the idea nauseating at Xscape and that’s a nice safe hill. I’m certainly not in love with the idea of strapping my feet to a plank while halfway up a glacier. I tried to mention the whole look I’m incredibly clumsy and have the same sense of balance as a broken weeble thing. No help at all. I dropped hints regarding the various mundane ways in which I’ve broken my arms. Both at the same time once. Nope. I think I’m doomed. My plans for this holiday involved investigating the hot chocolate & roaring fire industry. I’d have my laptop. Plenty to do. Never bored with laptop available. Make a couple of snowmen. Loaf unconcernedly. I’d happily wave the three of them off in the mornings. Try not to be too uncaring when they return frozen soggy and bruised in the late afternoon. Possibly suggest investigating the hot pools. That sort of thing. I think that in order to escape I’m going to have to play on Steve’s list of concerns. It’s in the hundred’s by now. there are appendices and subsections. Concern 1 : The Chairlift.

  • What If I Fall off while halfway up the mountain.
  • What If I drop my board while halfway up the mountain
  • What If I cant get on the chairlift
  • What If I cant get off the chairlift
  • What will I do if the chairlift Breaks

I think I’m just going to have to stockpile thick socks and hope