pom pom pom pom pom pom pom!!!

I have been crocheting ! Because I can’t knit. At all. It’s official. Extensive testing has revealed that I suffer from Dysplektia – This is a compound greek word meaning ” the inability to knit ” – well… technically it covers all forms of yarn work including crochet & weaving but why spoil it?

** new word alert. I did actually spend some time researching this. I looked for the official definition. Couldn’t find one. So I erm made one up. This is perfectly normal, saves a lot of time when you’re trying to remember what the real word is and don’t want to look like a total idiot and ALSO assists in scrabble games if you can be sufficiently convincing. See also *marrowfarads [ capacitance of squash vegetables ] *windowjuice [properly labelled ‘air’ but I forgot what the word was at the time. ‘let in the windowjuice’ or ‘ there’s too much windowjuice’ ] * fish [ This word refers to the Sky+ remote. for some reason. I think I may be a little aphasic ] — what’s different about dysplektia is that I spent time attempting to define the correct combination of words including some cross-eyed research using a greek alphabet dictionary. It may be a little ungrammatical and possibly not entirely correct but I believe that it fills a much needed niche and am expecting it to make the list for new words to be included in the 2007 OED.

Anyway , Crochet. Yep. Hats to be exact. Several months ago Ste expressed a wish for a hat with an enormous pom-pom on it. He’d tried on several ridiculous snowboarding hats but had been unable to find one which was quite silly enough. There were a few additional stipulations.

Being the LUFC fan that he is the hat had to be white yellow and blue. The pom-pom had to approach the size of his own head and he’d like it for the trip to arabba [ jan 14th 2006 ]

It took a while to get round to starting it. Tracking down yellow wool that wasnt in a pastel shade was the hardest part. Apart from the actual knitting. Best not mentioned really. Some of my attempts had sleeves. After several weeks of dysplektic attempts I found a crochet hook,typed crochet beanie pattern into google, and had a quick squizz through a couple pages of items suitable for toddlers and finally I found this page for a manly beanie Et voila !!! six hours later – several of which were spent in trying to wrest the crochet away from Sister B – she likes crochet and forgets to stop. Apparently a hat for nephew A could be used for a pram blanket because she forgot to start decreasing. The pom-pom itself took 3 balls of wool and several interrupted days of winding to produce a floofy ball bigger than my head. but i did it!!!

Chapter IV – A new hope

Technically it’s an old hope. Namely that I don’t break any limbs. Although this will be the first time I’ve been snowboarding. So it’s an entirely new way to break my arms. I’ve tried explaining this concern to Adam and Co. yet they remain blase about the whole thing. The three of them have had several months of lessons / practise on an indoor slope not far from home. In 12 days we fly to Arabba in Northern Italy. Current weather reports indicate 2-3 feet of snow and that its -21 degrees. Brrrrr. Steve is firmly of the opinion that he’ll get me to at least take a couple of snowboarding lessons while we’re out there. I’m firmly of the opinion that I won’t. I found the idea nauseating at Xscape and that’s a nice safe hill. I’m certainly not in love with the idea of strapping my feet to a plank while halfway up a glacier. I tried to mention the whole look I’m incredibly clumsy and have the same sense of balance as a broken weeble thing. No help at all. I dropped hints regarding the various mundane ways in which I’ve broken my arms. Both at the same time once. Nope. I think I’m doomed. My plans for this holiday involved investigating the hot chocolate & roaring fire industry. I’d have my laptop. Plenty to do. Never bored with laptop available. Make a couple of snowmen. Loaf unconcernedly. I’d happily wave the three of them off in the mornings. Try not to be too uncaring when they return frozen soggy and bruised in the late afternoon. Possibly suggest investigating the hot pools. That sort of thing. I think that in order to escape I’m going to have to play on Steve’s list of concerns. It’s in the hundred’s by now. there are appendices and subsections. Concern 1 : The Chairlift.

  • What If I Fall off while halfway up the mountain.
  • What If I drop my board while halfway up the mountain
  • What If I cant get on the chairlift
  • What If I cant get off the chairlift
  • What will I do if the chairlift Breaks

I think I’m just going to have to stockpile thick socks and hope